A Short History of the Epistemology of the Soft Girl

Or 'Before white women Begin Co-opting a Nigerian Lingo'

Oaxaca, Mexico. Photo by Ijeoma Umebinyuo

The term Soft Girl/Soft Life was originally coined by Nigerians, emerging as part of their community lingo before making its way into the digital space. This is a critical point often overlooked, especially when considering the history of the term. As far back as eight years ago, the Nigerian artist Falz referenced this concept in his song Soft Work. Understanding this context is crucial because it highlights a recurring pattern: much like Audre Lorde’s concept of self-care—"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare"—which was later disingenuously misappropriated/coopted by white women, the term Soft Girl has similarly become detached from its roots.

Soft Work/Soft Life/Soft Girl itself originates from Nigerian Pidgin English, a language that is integral to Nigeria’s multilingual culture. Pidgin English, a language created out of resistance to colonizers and classism, as a necessary form to engage people from all socio-economic backgrounds. Yet, this term, like many others from the Global South, has been adopted by Americans while erasing its roots and significance. Like many other expressions from the Global South, this term has been adopted in the West without acknowledgment of its origins or significance. Nigerian women, particularly the Gen-Z women that the article discusses, deserve proper credit for the spread of this term in the digital space.

The forms of resistance from people of the Global South include language, dialects and sounds should not be erased or ignored. Recognizing this history is critical. For instance, Afrobeats, a form of resistance, has been reduced and watered down by Westerners. Whatever name the Westerners and Nigerians in the diaspora have given the contemporary sound is concerning, no one except for the descendants of Fela and a few other people are actually singing Afrobeats/Afrobeat/ Afro beat.

This is what happens when the origin of a language is lost.

While it may seem that it is just a collection of words, understanding the origin of certain phrases provides insights into the people, context, and reasons behind their use. The term soft here is not just a casual word, in Nigerian Pidgin, it implies something effortless, stress-free, or even admiration, particularly in romantic relationships. In a romantic context, it is a term of endearment. Nigerian women reading this will understand immediately when I write, ‘omo see as everywhere just soft’ when someone admires them or speaks to them in a flirtatious manner. The usage of two standard English words—soft and girl—becomes distinctly Pidgin because of the way it is said, reflecting the unique tonal and cultural nuances of the language.

If you listen to Soft Work by Falz, you will hear that *some* of the lyrics are also in Pidgin English. This transformation of language into something relatable to everyone, regardless of class or socio-economic background, is a testament to the unifying power of Nigerian music and slang. While Nigerian music and terms—especially those rooted in Pidgin English—may travel across the world, the most important thing to understand is who the language belongs to. It belongs to Nigerians. It belongs to those living in Nigeria, creating lingo, music, and sounds that are distinctly theirs, despite facing some of the most challenging economic conditions.

This is a short essay, but it is a necessary one in an era where the erasure of Black women’s contributions in the digital space is widespread. When it comes to internet culture, the voices of women from the Global South, especially West African women, are often overlooked. This article serves as a timestamp, an acknowledgment of contributions by the Nigerian internet culture, and a call for proper recognition of the women who have shaped it.

The term Soft Girl was created as an act of resistance by Nigerian women. In its purest form, Nigerian women might say, “Omo, na soft life I want abeg, I be soft babe.” It challenges the notion of constant toil and the pressure to always "work." Instead, these women believe in working smart and engaging in the spoils of that smart work. It embraces rest as a form of resistance, enjoyment as a well-earned reward, and the gathering of other soft girls to build community. How you discuss the language does not matter if you erase its origins and fail to acknowledge the Black women—specifically Nigerian women—who shape it. Recognizing their contributions helps you understand the intent, origins, and significance of this language in any digital discourse.

New York, New York. Photo by Ijeoma Umebinyuo

P.S. While I think ‘girl’ can become some way of infantilizing women, I chose not to focus on it as I wrote this short essay.

I have my reasons.

Some errors were corrected.